When sleeping is deadly

Tea_B

My mother passed away in her sleep at 3 am, it was hard and I didn't know how to react to the fact that the person who I took care of like they were my child died with out me saying how much I love them. Yes when I left to go camping with friends, I told her I loved her a lot and it was just hard to know that I can't even tell her how much I care for her and hug her. I just want to hold my mother in my arms and let her know I care for her and that I love her greatly. I have mental break downs almost every week from the pain I feel from losing her, blaming myself for her death and wishing it was me who wasn't alive at the moment. I wish I could live throw this hell of a time with the help I truly need.