I haven't noticed she's gone

Hoannn

It's been 4 years since my mum has passed away, and the thought of her being gone still hasn't sunk in. I know she's gone, but I don't feel like anything is missing. I've lived everyday of my life after her death, like how I normally would. The day after she passed away I went to school and went on like everything was fine. I would still have random break downs every now and then, but I just feel like nothing has changed. My dad has also recently remarried and now I have a little brother. I guess the only time I realise she's gone is when I'm really sad or when I look at her shrine. I don't know if I'm still in denial, or even the fact that I'm glad she's not in pain anymore, or maybe she is somehow still with me.