Mum has cancer

0
catie_ranga

So i just joined a today and after reading a few blogs i feel like i need to say something. Over a year ago Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer and i remember feeling numb all over. I couldn't even cry i felt so shucked. We'd known that she had a tumour but Mum had assured me and my sister that it wasnt cancerous and that it would all be okay. And we werent that worried about her as my grandmother had just been in a car accident a few days before, so we were more focused on her too. So, when we found out that Mum had cancer, i shut down a bit. We didnt do any conventional methods for the first few months, and at first she got better. She also had an operation to get rid of the tumour, but the cancer was already in her bloodstream. But over the course of 2017, we thought she was getting better, until almost a year to the day she was re-diagnosed. The cancer was still in her bloodstream and also in her spine. So she went onto conventional medication and spent alot of the time in bed. As we were homeschooled at the time, we saw everymoment and most of it bad, and my sister and i were really upset, but felt we couldnt talk to each other as we werent close like that. Now, she is doing radiation and is even worse for wear.

When she was first diagnosed, everyone was all over us and making a point of being concerned. Then, over the space of a day, it all stopped. It felt like everyone had forgotten about us. No one ever asks if Mum is okay or if we are okay, and i mean i look tired and often sleep on the bus and in class because i cant sleep at home. I feel invisible and small and scared.

My Mum is my everything and if i lost her - even though she often makes a pont of saying she isnt in danger of dying - i dont think id ever recover.