First time writer and I do not even know

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georgiamaggie

To whoever reads this, I don't know if anyone will but hey that's cool. I just need to get this out somewhere and I don't really know. I've found that's a common theme in my life currently, I just do not know. When anyone asks how I am, or how my mum is going, I just don't even know what to say. Long story short, my mum was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2012. I was studying for my year 12 VCE exams and it hit. One night I woke up to lights beaming through my bedroom window and woke up to my dad telling me mum had a seizure. Nothing else other than that she had a seizure. Okay well lets go to the hospital. Fast forward a few weeks and the seizures would not stop. I was in Year 12, trying to plan my future and care for my mum. Finally some scans confirmed my worst fear, a tumour on the brain. Surgery was booked in and the tumour was confirmed to be cancer. Stage 1 brain cancer, that's not so bad right? Slow growing and giving us about 7 years with her. AWESOME. Fast forward 7 years and here we are. The cancer is no longer slow growing. It is growing as if it is trying to escape my mums head. Surgery is out of the question after already having numerous. Chemo kills her blood cells and could kill her. Radiation isn't a great option either due to already having that a number of times. So all that is left to try is test trials of new treatments and hope for the best. Hoping for the best, what does that even mean anymore? I moved away from home just a few months ago. Everything was fine, it was safe for me to go. Everything isn't fine now though. And I do not even know what to do. My partner has never dealt with losing anyone or knowing anyone that has been diagnosed with cancer. How lucky for her! But she doesn't know how to offer support either and I don't even know what kind of support I need. All I know is, I just don't know anymore. So please, anyone that reads this, send me through some positive quotes, activities or just anything that helps clear the mind to get through these times. Xx