Hey everyone its Ella again
So last Saturday the 6th of may it was my 18th birthday. A big milestone for me, if I'm honest didn't quite think I'd make but I'm glad I did, after looking back at the past 18 years it weird but also so nice to see how far I've come as a person, how much I've grown up and how much I still do, but as each day goes by I'm getting there. So just a recap my mum died when I was 8 so 10 years ago and half my life, don't get me wrong i miss her like crazy ( well maybe just the idea of having a mum), is it weird that I miss something I don't remember and never really felt like I had. But anyway Saturday was filled with mixed emotions as i got ready for the lunch I was having with my family, my boyfriends mum did my makeup and hair for me and has become like a mother to me over the past year and has helped me through a lot , I couldn't help but think there was something missing, even though my boyfriends mum is loving caring women who I absolutely adore and love, she is never going to be my mother and we are never going to have the same connection as she does with her kids and that is absolutely fine and I get it, but it still does hurt, to know when I go home I don't have mum to greet me at the door and ask about my weekend. I do still have my loving, caring dad in my life who has raised me into the person I am today, but its not the same. So moving forward to the actual lunch I had a great time catching up with all my family, it was so lovely, but it didn't feel real and it still doesn't that I'm 18, that my mum has been gone for 10 years maybe that will kick in when its her anniversary in August. I guess my big year of change is just starting, I'm not sure of any what I said made sense or is relatable but its been really good to get it off my chest and now I've just realized it was making me very stressed and down for the past couple of days.
So thank you for taking the time to read.